Pastor Al Paulauski, From Your Pal Pastor Al, Fair Haven Assembly of God Church

Pastor Al Paulauski

From Your Pal May 2006

"Communication: Jesus Style"

     Do you have any communication problems with your children at home? Does conflict arise on a regular basis with your kids? Are you running out of answers as to how to deal with these communication issues? If you've answered "Yes" to any of the three questions, you are among the majority when it comes to parenting. Nothing seems to be more challenging than when it comes to communicating with our children (toddlers all the way through the teenage years).
     Recently in my Sunday school class (entitled "Parenting Teens for Positive Results") we have been examining how to do a better job communicating with our kids. To do this we've been looking at the "master communicator" himself - Jesus. He dealt with everything from conflict to love with integrity and honesty. Our job as parents is to learn to be the most effective communicators we can possibly be. And we can learn a great deal from the way Jesus handled people.
     "The people brought children to Jesus, hoping that he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: 'Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me. These children are at the center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in.' Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them." Mark 10:13-16 (The message)
     In these verses we see three different ways that Jesus communicated with children. All of which we would do well to implement in our communication styles.
     1. Availability (the power of being there). Vs. 14 says "Don't push these children away. Don't ever come between them and me." Being available to your children can have a powerful affect on their lives. Your very presence shows that you care and that you are committed to them. They need you to show up in their lives. How do you offer your availability to your child?
     2. Affection (the need for appropriate touch and affection). Vs. 16 says, "Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them." There was a study done by UCLA that concluded that people need 8-10 meaningful touches a day to maintain good emotional health. If you're not a person who communicates love for your child through appropriate physical touch - you need to start immediately.
     3. Words (there is power in words). Vs. 16 again says, "…He (Jesus) blessed them." Meaningful touch may even be more powerful than words, but without the right words, the blessing cannot be completed. There is great power in words - power to build up and power to tear down, depending on what words we use. Whoever coined the phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," didn't know what they were talking about.
     What forms of communication are you doing well? What forms of communication do you need to work on? Whatever it may be, my challenge to you this month is to begin to implement these three aspects of communication with your children. All of this is going to require lots of work on your part, but the end results make it worth it. Who doesn't want a more loving and open relationship with their children?