Pastor Al Paulauski, From Your Pal Pastor Al

Pastor Al Paulauski

From Your Pal July 2008

"Act Your Age
(Mom and Dad)"

     Whether we like it or not, students tend to follow our lead. If we want them to act their age, then we'll have to act ours. It's a very simple truth that many parents fail to understand. Actions do speak louder than words. That is especially true when students are doing the listening and watching. If our goal is to get our students safely into adulthood, then it only makes sense that we as parents model for them what it means to be an adult.
     Students get very confused when parents fail to demonstrate such adult characteristics as responsibility, good judgment, and self-discipline. It's hard to teach kids to delay gratification or make wise choices when parents rarely do so themselves.
     If you are prone to swearing in traffic, don't be surprised to hear some choice words from your student the next time they encounter a little stress. If you bend the truth on the telephone to get out of an unwanted engagement with a friend, don't be surprised when your son lies to you about what he is doing Friday night. If you are a consumer of junk food, alcohol, cigarettes, or are enslaved by addictive shopping or other bad habits…then don't bother to tell your kids that these vices are wrong or bad for them. "Do as I say, not as I do" is never very effective with teenagers.
     The good news here is that you can have a huge positive impact on the lives of your students by behaving in ways that reinforce what you want them to learn. Your basic beliefs and values, the true nature of your character, will be clearly communicated to your kids every day by the way you live.
     If this sounds like a heavy burden to bear, keep in mind that no parent has the ability to be a perfect example. The only perfect parent is God. Hopefully we can be a small imitation, a reflection, of what God created us to be. We aren't perfect, but we strive to live as obediently as we can.
     None of us do the right thing all the time, but our kids can learn a great deal about themselves and about life just by observing how we handle mistakes and failures. If we lose control of our temper and say things that are hurtful and unkind, we can apologize and ask for forgiveness. If we make a bad choice or commit a sin, we can admit our wrongdoing before God, and before our family members, allowing them to become part of the restoration and growth process. Quite often, students are most encouraged and strengthened when they learn that their parents aren't perfect, and that Mom and Dad must work hard to close the gap between the knowledge of right and wrong and their behavior.
Some parents worry that their past misdeeds disqualify them from being good examples or positive role models for their students. Again, our kids can learn much from their parents' life experience-even bad ones. Everyone can learn and grow from the mistakes they make, but it requires honesty and a commitment to change.
     Ultimately, students learn about adulthood by watching adults they have the most access to-their parents. When parents act selfishly, irresponsibly, or dishonestly, students learn that this is normal adult behavior, and they most certainly will imitate it. Few students are mature enough to learn in reverse, that is, to become responsible by observing irresponsible parents. Your students may not listen to you very much, but you can bet they will be watching. Help your student grow up by being grown-up yourself.

Youth
July Highlights

Mentoring Groups
As mentioned at our "Parents Meeting", and in a letter sent out to all parents of teenagers, this fall we will be starting something new called "Mentoring Groups." It's an opportunity for your student to "do life together" with another adult leader from our student ministry leadership team. We will be grouping 2-3 students with another adult leader (if student and parent agree). They will be meeting twice a month for 1 ½ - 2 hours for a time of encouragement, accountability, prayer and study. It's sure to be a great time. If you and your student would like to pursue something like this see Pastor Al as soon as possible and pick up an "I desire a mentor" form.

Cedar Point
We will again be taking all Jr. & Sr. High students to Cedar Point. We will be going Friday, Aug. 15th. If your child would like to go, please sign up with Pastor Al by Wed., July 30th. Cost is $40 (if you need a ticket) or $10 (if you don't need a ticket) and is due by Wed., July 30th. See Pastor Al for more details.

Summer Hang Night
We will again be doing "Hang Nights" during the summer. They are a time for all students to hang out, go swimming, eat food, etc. It's all free, we just ask that they would sign up if they are planning to attend. Our next two "Hang Nights" are Sun., July 27th & Sun., Aug. 10th - both from 5-8 p.m.